How is it going so Far?
It is going okay so far, I have had a lot of time for myself and looking at new possible opportunities.
I have been surfing the web and watching endless YouTube videos about Long Distance Relationships and how life is across the pond. I found out some amazing things and I can't wait to put them in good use.
Why is it a big deal all of a sudden that I go into depth with my relationship with Connor?
I have always been crazy about Connor. All my close friends know that Connor is the biggest part of my life aside from my daughter. I held in my excitement for so long and I think 9 months has been super long enough to hold back on my feelings. I have been holding back in respects to my last marriage with a now good friend of mine. There was heartbreak and hurt but we are growing and changing. We are both getting past it, William and I. He has been there for me and Sammy for years and we are not going to stop now. We are not romantically into each other, we are just really good friends. There is no hard feelings on my end and he claims there isn't any on his end. I am over the moon about that. But some of you know that I have been letting go recently and I have had a lot of backlash on my relationship because no one understands my relationship with Connor and William. I have heard all the rumors and read messages I wish I didn't read, but it was not taken negatively.
Connor is here to stay, whether people like it or not and I am happy to say that it doesn't scare me anymore to say that.
It used to scare me to the point where I was afraid to post pictures and statuses about him, but I have come to realize that this is MY life, and I RUN my life. I should not be afraid of backlash.
How does it Feel to be in a Long Distance Relationship?
Let me start off by stating the obvious: IT REALLY SUCKS! It sucks not to wake up with him next to me and it sucks that our normal dates consist of looking through a screen instead of holding hands or cuddling.
I used to be a military wife for a short period of time and I will have to say that LDR relationships never compare. So I want to say hats off to you! It was hard not to hear from my ex husband for weeks and to only hear his voice for maybe 2 minutes before he had to go. The always being worried sick and waiting for those beautiful letters is a pain I never want to go through again.
Being in a LDR, non military, has it's hardships of it's own.
I never expected to fall in love with someone 5,289 miles away, he was a surprise to me like I was to him. We met online in a game/App. We talked for what seemed like thirty minutes until he fell asleep and I sent him a friend request and the rest is history. He accepted and we started to talk through another App.
We really liked each other from the start and we couldn't get enough of one another's lame stories. We stayed up all nigh/morning laughing and talking about EVERYTHING under the moon. That is something every LDR knows very well! We know more about each other than we do anything else. You see, there is a LOT of TALKING in a LDR. We may seem rude checking our phones/ computers every now and again, but we don't mean it or/and can't help it. Trying to find time from the obvious time zone difference for each other is harder than you think. We have lives we have to catch up to and it's hard to come in and out of that habit of always getting lost in the loop of the romance. We forget to message friends and family or other activities because we tend to make our girlfriend/boyfriend a priority at times. It may be because he worked during my down time or was free when I was sleeping. It is hard to find a set schedule, especially when we worked in jobs with no set hours/ schedules. But believe it or not we do make time and it is a good breather than staying cooped up in my bedroom for hours (even though it is super freaking awesome to talk to him again!).
So friends, don't think I find you boring and I rather be doing something else, know that I appreciate and love our time together. I was probably trying to touch base with him.🙂
The only thing I like about it is that the anticipation is great! The zoo in your belly and the melting feeling that you feel when you know you are about to see each other again is the best feeling in the entire world. To actually hold him and for me to actually kiss him other than the stupid computer screen (Yes! I do that!) is well worth the wait. Also, from what I have heard, traveling to see a whole new way of living it pretty awesome. Connor couldn't believe all the different foods we had and all sorts of other things. He found about something new everyday and he loved it. So I cannot wait to see the differences he has been blabbering about for ages real soon! Also, having a lot of time for myself has been pretty wonderful actually. To spend more time on art projects I used to postpone and decorating my room to crazy extents has been a blast. I have been in a former relationship for almost eight years and I held back on my spontaneous cleaning at 3 am.
There is a lot of downsides to LDR's though. I mean LOTS.
The obvious not being able to cuddle, feel, or smell each other is pretty tough. (Yes, smelling each other! You won't know how much you miss someone's scent until they are gone.) Not a lot of people realize the simple being-in-the-same-room-and-saying-nothing-but-enjoying-each-other's-company is a real thing you will miss. I stay on Skype all day and all night sometimes while we do other things to make us feel better. I could be reading while he plays on his PC and we feel more connected, but you can't help feel the little ting in your heart that they are not physically there.
The dreaded but also nice invitations you get and you know your man won't be there also sucks. Seeing couples dance and laugh together can be a bit sad sometimes, but we can manage. It does hurt though, knowing that Connor would have loved to accompany me but couldn't due to obvious circumstances. Sometimes I can't help it anymore and try to sneak in a message to him telling him that I wish he was here. Replaying the scenarios of us dancing together or pigging out at the open buffet. Drinking at the bar and laughing at the most simple spill on his shirt... that sucks too.
Also, when people don't believe that it is a real relationship.
I hate that some people say that it is okay to cheat and it is okay to keep options out there. NO IT"S NOT. I am in a serious relationship. It is valid just like yours. Maybe he isn't here and doesn't visit as often as we would like, but he is indeed MY MAN. You can't believe how many people have told Connor and I to keep our options open. "Why not find a guy that lives here?" "Why not date a girl here in Bedford?" We can't help who we fall in love with. If we want to be committed, please respect that for us? It actually means a whole lot when our friends support our relationship because it makes the hardship of being apart so much better.
Another thing that sucks....when you want to do the dirty. When you want to bump uglies and you know you can't just do that. The camera has to be in the right position, the computer is at a weird angle, you want close ups and what not and sometimes that is pretty hard to accommodate. The lighting is bad or the WiFi cuts out in mid "hanky" (I will call it that so it won't be as awkward). It gets frustrating.
Yes, we do miss the actual thing, and no we won't opt to having a booty call for that. We try with toys and what not, but nothing compares to the real thing. It makes meeting up again even better.
How do we Survive?
We do a lot of movie date nights and play games together. We make time to just wind down and enjoy each other's time whether it be talking about our day or laughing at "500 Day's of Summer" on Rabb.it. We listen to music we both like as much as we can. Currently our songs are "Blue Moon" by Frank Sinatra and "I Love You" by sweetbn_.
Having countdowns to the next time we meet. Talking to mutual friends and our families.
He sends me gifts through Amazon all the time and so do I. We make each other surprises and we always find something new to talk about. We could talk about Shrek, to fluffy cows, to Wicca, to small aliens that could live beyond our universe that are the size of bunnies.
We played How-much-Things-You-Can-Fit-up-Your-Nose and doing scavenger hunts.
We also read up on other people's LDR's and we find support there. We help each other out and share our pains and triumphs together.
I can honestly say I am having the best time of my life with him.
Near or far, he makes me feel like no other. He makes me feel like a Queen and I cannot repay him enough. He treats my daughter and I really well with the out most respect.
How is Project Norma going?
All I can say is that it is just going. Some days I wake up happy and today was one of those days where I woke up a little moody, but I will get over it. I will wash all my clothes today and clean the room top to bottom like spring cleaning to keep it worth while. I have found new projects to start on that I will share later with you all and I am excited to because it is my favorite things ever!
Thank you for reading and I hope to hear from you all soon!
I do read your stories and I do write about them in another blog that is secret but I can start posting here because I want to start fresh with this old one. Thanks so much!
normaackerstories@gmail.com is still wide and open and you can share there or wherever.
Have good day!
-Norma
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